Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
