Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
