where am i from again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
