oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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