im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize