is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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