I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
