My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
