i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
