so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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