were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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