I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
