There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
