You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
