Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Found the puke drawer
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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