he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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