i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you have to choose: penises or morals?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
