Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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