Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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