i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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