You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
