I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
