What a fucking waste of an outfit
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize