i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
