i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
