Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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