My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize