Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
