No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
