if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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