k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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