Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
