the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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