Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize