My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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