my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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