Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
