come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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