I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
