Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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