Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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