Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
