So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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