so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
