I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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