No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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