So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
