i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
