how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
