Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
