i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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