And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
