she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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