Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
