we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
