We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
