in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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