The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
