Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
