just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
