I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the day after is always just damage control
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
God, I missed his penis.
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