Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
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He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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